Social Phobia and Social Anxiety helped in Cambridge and London with Hypnosis, Hypnotherapy and applied psychological techniques
Social phobia (also known as social anxiety, scopophobia) is probably the most common phobia there is; a pervasive fear of any situation where the sufferer is likely to feel 'on the spot', embarrassed, humiliated or judged.
I see a huge number of clients with social phobia (in fact most people suffer from at least some symptoms of this condition). Because of the nature of the condition many sufferers struggle to seek help, as they fear being judged. Rest assured that all my client's problems are dealt with in a completely non-judgmental and confidential manner.
If you have social phobia you are likely to find situations such as dinner parties, public speaking, interviews, appearing in court, singing, etc very difficult. On a more general level, you are likely to worry continuously about how others 'see' you, and what others may think about you. It is not surprising then that the social phobics usually spend a lot of time creating the image they want others to see. Usually the social phobic is quite adept at concealing their anxiety from others, although there is quite often a difficulty in maintaining eye contact.
In the D.S.M.4 (the Mental Health 'Bible') the main criteria for Social Anxiety is listed as;
A marked and persistent fear of one or more social or performance situations in which the person is exposed to unfamiliar people or to possible scrutiny by others. The individual fears that he/she will act in a way that will be humiliating or embarrassing.
In a clinical setting (in the U.S.A.) somewhere between 3 and 13% of people had Social Anxiety. Social Anxiety generally starts in the mid-teens (although it often follows on from just being 'shy') or can be triggered off by a particularly embarrassing event. As with all phobias, stress (or the lack of it) will have a significant effect on the 'strength' of the anxiety created.
Some symptoms that may appear alongside (or be caused by) social phobia or social anxiety are:
- A fear of public speaking
- A fear of talking on the telephone
- A fear of writing in front of someone (even signing a cheque!)
- Blushing, or a fear of blushing
- Finding it difficult to make friends
- Finding parties and small talk difficult
- Trying to stick to the rules
- Sense of being watched
- Finding maintaining eye contact with people difficult
- Stuttering or stammering
- A lack of confidence
- Sensitivity to criticism
- Fear of rejection
- Difficulty in being assertive and feelings of inferiority
- Working too hard (to please others)
- Setting unachieveably high standards (and feeling bad when they are not met)
- A preoccupation with how you look: perfecting an image you want others to see (NOT vanity - this is about trying to 'blend in')
- Suffering with pre-exam or pre-test nerves
- Repeated failure of driving test - due to 'performance anxiety'
- A persistent fear of failure, or 'not making the grade'
- Certain twiches or 'tics'
- Shy bladder (men) not being able to pee, when on the spot
- Certain sexual inhibitions - due to 'performance anxiety'
Basically any situation in life where you might feel embarrassed, on the spot, judged, silly out of control etc.
Social anxiety/ social phobia can create significant problems in your life, probably without you knowing the root cause. Many people suffer from symptoms of social phobia in certain situations, for example public speaking, driving tests or interviews. The issues created via social anxiety and social phobia can, however, seep out into every aspect of your life: you may avoid all social situations; struggle to get a job due to lack of confidence; avoid sexual relationships; avoid asserting yourself. In severe cases social phobia may present a person from leaving the house.
Help with Social Phobia for Upcoming Events
Suggestion Therapy (sometimes called Clinical Hypnosis) is used for easy-to-control, less complex problems. Perhaps you have a presentation coming up at work, a job interview, a forthcoming driving test or wedding speech in the near future? With suggestion therapy, you are relaxed into a very nice, calm, state, and then given suggestions entirely for your benefit, which will help you to feel calmer and more confident when you need to.
Click here to read more about suggestion therapy.
Resolving Social Phobia with Pure Hypnoanalysis
A Phobia is "an external symbolic interpretation, of an internal anxiety". Phobias are almost always formed in the childhood (although the symptoms may not appear for many years) and are caused by the sufferer bottling up some strong emotions in response to an experience. These emotions are then symbolically projected onto an object/situation creating a phobic response. Although some Phobias seem to serve an obvious purpose (fear of fire, drowning etc) some appear to make no sense at all! Rest assured though, all phobias serve a purpose. Phobias are created in an attempt to warn a person not to get into the originating (or any similar) situation again. They may seem to make no sense, as the originating experience has been completely hidden from the person's conscious mind.
The only way to CURE a phobia - to banish it completely - is to release the bottled up emotions that are causing it. Most other types of therapy cannot gain access to these 'locked away' emotions and experiences - Pure Hypnoanalysis can.
The process of Pure Hypnoanalysis requires a strong bond of trust and rapport being created between the therapist, and the client. Over a period of about 6 to 12 sessions, we slowly link thoughts and memories back through time (using a process of 'free association') until we come to the bottled up emotions. When we release these emotions, the phobia is resolved forever.
Click here to read more about why Pure Hypnoanalysis is so successful.
Helping Social Phobia Through Changing Limiting Beliefs
Changing limiting beliefs with my newly developed DREAM Technique is an alternative way of banishing your Social Phobia. It is particularly suitable for anyone who may, for whatever reason, find going through a course of Pure Hypnoanalysis particularly difficult or impossible. It is, also, highly successful in treating many simpler or less deeply rooted emotional problems. The DREAM Technique is a training program, which teaches you how to take control of limiting thoughts, feelings, emotions, doubts and worries. This short training program is able to completely change the way you think and feel about yourself and challenging situations - enabling you to live a happier, more successful and positive life.
Click here for more information about the DREAM Technique.
Phobias - Questions and Answers
Q. Can I do anything myself to help control the Phobia?
A. The best way to live with a phobia, is to ignore it. I know that is easier said than done, but the more you think about your social phobia, the more fear and anxiety you create and the worse your phobia will become.
Q. Is it not a good idea to read books about my Phobia then?
A. In the short-term you will feel a little bit better (because you understand a little about yourself - and this gives you a sense of control) but in the long term, all you are doing is spending more and more time thinking about your phobia - and hence dragging up more emotion.
Q. How come different therapies have different success rates in tackling Phobias?
A. Most other forms of therapy are an 'intellectual exercise' - you are relying on the insight and experience of the Therapist to guide you though what he or she THINKS is causing your phobia. The problem is, THEY DON'T KNOW!
How can they possibly know what's going on in the back of your mind? They don't.
So, in many cases, therapy is focussed on what your (Neurotic) Therapist decides is what's going on in your (Neurotic) mind. No I am not being rude, we are all Neurotic (we all have unresolved emotional conflicts). A Phobia is an outward SYMBOLIC interpretation of an internal anxiety. It is Symbolic. Your mind has symbolised your fear and projected it onto something external - no one can intellectually decide what is causing your Phobia. If you got 100 ex-agorophobics together in a room and asked them what was causing their agorophobia, you would get 100 different reasons/causes.
Q. How come you have such a high success rate?
A. The reason why Pure Hypnoanalysis (as taught by The I.A.P.H.) is so successful in treating Phobias (as well as many other problems) is because it safely and naturally gets to the root cause of the problem - you are not relying on 'guesswork' or 'therapists insight'.
Testimonials From Some Ex-Social Phobics
Dearest Rob
I promised you I would write and tell you of my successes since seeing you last year...
I consulted you for blushing and social anxiety, which were preventing me from 'getting out there' and leading a happy, fulfilled life. I was very depressed, wasn't happy in my work, and couldn't find a partner.
Well... it has ALL changed now!
I find it difficult to explain just how much the therapy has changed my life, because I cannot believe it myself sometimes.....
I am MUCH happier, and haven't felt at all depressed in nearly a year (I realise now that you were right when you said I wasn't really depressed anyway - just 'tearing the arse' out of my social phobia) I sing in a band (can you believe that??), have a lovely partner and a great job.
I feel genuinely happy, for the first time in my life.
I had tried many other therapies, including counseling, CBT, EFT, and 'normal' hypnotherapy, as well as 18 months on Seroxat: none of these things helped.
My 9 sessions with you are a blur now, but they have really, REALLY changed my life. Thank you so much Rob, you really are a special man!
Sara Parker, Cambridge
I had been struggling with severe nerves before test situations, anxiety and a lack of self-confidence for some time, when a friend suggested that hypnotherapy might be able to help... Following a great many hours of searching the internet and obsessively reading the entire websites of a large number of hypnotherapists and hypnotherapy associations, I found that the IAPH and Rob's websites were the ones I kept coming back to. Everything was explained in a clear and logical manner and Rob did appear to look normal... maybe I could give it a try! At the initial consultation Rob (who still didn't seem to be in any way strange!) explained that I had social phobia, an intense fear of being judged. This was the first hurdle. Did I believe what he was telling me? I certainly didn't really like the idea of having social phobia! After all, I was certain people would think me weird if they felt that were the case...!!! After much deliberation, and at least 3000 questions later, I decided to 'bite the bullet' and try a course of Pure Hypnoanalysis. It turned out that being hypnotised was in no way frightening! It simply involved relaxing whilst listening to Rob's voice. I did, however, initially, find the therapy somewhat less than fun due to my fear of being judged, and was (unnecessarily!) extremely nervous.
Rob was, however, incredibly patient, compassionate, encouraging and completely non-judgemental and the sessions gradually became easier. (Rob is, however, human and does have one fault. He will, without a doubt, be running at least 10 minutes late for each and every session!) Once the course of hypnoanalysis was finished, Rob helped me to change some limiting beliefs, which were still preventing my social phobia from completely disappearing, by teaching me his 'Dream Process'. I had a tendency to view myself in a very negative way, often without really realising it, and this process enabled me to recognise these negative thoughts, reframe them and consequently feel more positive. Although I initially found the process frustrating (I had to apply it rather frequently to start with!) within a few weeks of using it, I noticed that I was approaching many things in a more confident way and was feeling much less anxious. For me, the changes that have occurred as a result of the therapy have taken place gradually (and are still occurring!) as opposed to the sudden relief of symptoms described by many people, but that's not to say that these changes have been any less significant!! I now feel much happier, more confident, in control of my life and understand myself far better. Rob is an amazing person who really does genuinely care about helping people and this, along with his enthusiasm and sense of humour, really contributed to the success of the therapy. Presumably if you are reading this testimonial you are considering going to see Rob - I would definitely 110% recommend it! I found the therapy incredibly interesting and (dramatic as this sounds!) it really has changed my life.
Charlotte, Cambridge Jan 2009
October 2007:
I can not thank Rob Kelly enough for the new life he has opened up for me!
I suffered from EXTREME social phobia/social anxiety, unable to speak to people in public, including shop assistants, or even hold my head up when walking down the street in case I should make eye contact, even dating... my mouth would become dry, my hands numb and I would begin to hyperventillate just thinking about doing ordinary things like popping to the shops or filling the car with petrol.
I had begun to put life on hold.
A work colleague had mentioned her success at stopping smoking using hypnosis with Rob - her enthusiasm encouraged me to make contact with him myself.
From the offset, Robs message was clear and encouraging about the benefits hypnotherapy with him, would have on me.
The beauty of hypnotherapy for me (I had a course of Pure Hypnoanalysis) was that I didn't have to see the other persons reactions to what I spoke about, as would happen in conselling, for example. I was aware that Rob was in the same room, but he was able to make me feel relaxed and free from 'judgement', although he is of course using his extensive skill and knowledege to analyse what I revealed, but most importantly he made me feel safe.
Through sessions with Rob I discovered the very root of my reluctance to connect with people... it was a REPRESSED MEMORY: an experience so painful, that made me feel so guilty and shameful, I had completely buried it in the back of my mind - I had no idea this had ever happened before I saw Rob.
Once I had 'released' this experience (let out all the emotion) I felt an extreme sense of relief wash over me. I would never have been able to access that memory by myself - it needed Rob and his exceptional ability as a hypnotherapist, to release me from my 20 year rut. Very quickly I noticed my life changing for the better, as did my thrilled family! I am at last able to value and love myself. I welcomed new friends, started smiling hello to passers by, and I flirted with the sexy guy who I'd had my eye on - who is now my boyfriend!!
I have made many positive changes to my life, and I now look forward to the future.
Rob Kelly has made this possible. Thank you so much Rob
Jane Metcalf, Bank Worker, Cambridge
Click here to view some further testimonials and comments from people who have experienced hypnotherapy at the Cambridge Hypnotherapy Clinic.
How Do I Make An Appointment?
The Cambridge Hypnotherapy Clinic is open from 9a.m. - 6p.m. Monday to Friday.
A completely confidential and free initial consulatation is offered so that you can discuss your social phobia with me and we can decide upon the best treatment option for you. This consultation also allows you to ask me any questions that you may have.
To book a free initial consultation, call me on my direct line : 01223 301577 or 07971 006747 or 0800 7831038
Or e-mail me at: rob@rck.net
The Cambridge Hypnotherapy Clinic - est 1988 - at
The Beechwood Medical Centre, 41 Hills Road, Cambridge CB2 1NT
